Hope and Despair

Karin Kallmaker LIFE + STYLE

Amish quilt of wedding rings

It’s probably ill-advised to post anything to my blog when I’m overly emotional. Last night, at 8:01 Pacific, when the presidential election was called, I had tears in my eyes. But like in 2000, by the time I went to bed, tears of joys had turned to tears of hurt and disbelief. Hope. Then despair.

We’re second-class citizens, once again. Change has come to America, except for us.

All the polling suggests that when gay people in California gave money and support to our new president-elect, we empowered the very force that has stripped us of our civil right to marry.

The pain of the irony is heartbreak, plain and simple, all over again. Sorry to be a downer, folks. Sorry if my grief over loss of my civil rights gets in the way of your joy in this moment in history — it certainly got in the way of mine.

People are saying last night was the happiest of their life. I would have loved to have been able to say that, too. I had two hours of euphoria, at least. I know full well how everyone else feels, because I felt it too. It would be nice if there was any recognition from straight America that they know how we feel to have had equality dangled in front of us, only to be taken away via Proposition 8 by our enemies – and our allies.

Previous posts about the right to marry in California:

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Comments 3

  1. I just wanted to share this note on how I felt about the out come of the election. I guess I needed to express my long week .( yes you can share this )In California, on Monday, Nov. 3, 2008, my mom passed away. On my birthday, Tuesday, Nov. 4th, Election Day, with my sisters and brothers, I was making the funeral service arrangements, while I thought my fellow citizens were voting the right thing. (Our entire family had voted by mail). What a disappointment in human kind on this day. My faith in people to do the right thing has been devastated.My mother was a progressive thinking woman that taught her children to be accepting and kind. Her strength and her faith allowed her to treat others with respect and acceptance. The day that the court’s ruling of same sex marriages was announced she asked my partner and I if we were going to get married after 26 years of being together. She felt everyone should have the right to be happy. We did get married at my parent’s home. My mom got to see the last of her 6 children get married. Lucky she had not seen the lack of human kindness that Californian citizens showed on Nov. 4th. It is a sad day when those who felt the need to discriminate against a specific group took their freedom away.I’m sorrowed to think that my home is no longer where I should be. My family has been here in California for 49 years. This state was thought to be progressive and fair in thinking of others, but this is no longer true. The message that California told the world on Nov 4th is very sad.Nancy

  2. Well, it’s actually even worse. The Supreme Court of CA said the right to marry has existed all along in the Constitution. We weren’t “given” anything. The court said it was wrong for the right to have been denied to us by county clerks. Now, a group of citizens has changed the constitution so that the court’s ruling is no longer valid. You’re absolutely right that it’s meanspirited. But that some of our allies had to also vote yes for it to pass is what is especially hurtful.

  3. Well said, Karin. I agree with you wholeheartedly. They give you the right to marry and then months later, take it away. It’s a mean, mean trick.Ruth

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